Post 1, My Story ֎ Introduction

“marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” (The family: A proclamation to the world)

My parents had five children. My dad’s employment was never constant. One of my earliest recollections of primary school was this feeling of being a nomad, always moving and never settling. We were not well off as a family. Economic hardships were a part of everyday life. The only reason I noticed that we were not well off was when I went and visited my grandmother. She would ask what dad’s current job was I would respond; she would mutter something under her breath, as I got older this question would be followed by a conversation which usually started with:

“You know when you grow up one day and get married please make sure that you can afford it. Finish school, go to university, and get good employment. You do not have to be in a rush to get married, there is plenty of time for that. Just promise me you will do that.” I promised her I would do so. This promise was reinforced every time I arrived at school with second hand clothing, inferior school shoes compared to the other boys and not having enough equipment to compete in extra mural activities such as horse riding, rugby or anything really.

This all made sense to me, finish school, get a job and then later when I am settled I will get married. I did not want to struggle the way my mom and dad have most of my life. I want to be a good provider, a good husband and be better for my future family. Everything was going according to the promise I made, but then I fell in love.

At the age of 23, I met the girl of my dreams and after three months of dating we knew that we wanted to be married and spend the rest of our lives together.

My parents were wed at the ages of 18 & 20, so compared to their standards and the 80’s era they were married in. I was old by the time I got engaged; yet I was told by a lot of my work colleges that I was getting married too young.

This story does not end here and I will expand as I carry on but I wanted to share this because my story reflects some of the modern day attitudes society has toward marriage. I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, in this blog I will share my views on the family and why marriage and having children is such a fundamental part of society. I will share some of the fears I had when preparing for marriage, the dating experience, engagement, the importance of family in society today, equality partnership of men and woman, being faithful to one’s spouse by honoring marital vows.

Come join me on this journey, as I give context to marriage in our modern era and how societies and nations are built on families. The disintegration of family has dire consequences, consequences not taken into consideration at socials or gatherings; like barbeques (braai's if you are South African) because I believe that it is here where a lot of malformed perceptions come from; like the conversations my grandmother had with me.

“there is growing evidence that young people’s views of marriage—such as their desired age for marriage and the importance they place on getting married—are associated with their lifestyle choices during young adulthood as well as the later success of their marriage and family lives”(Hawkins et al pg. 3)